


You're Cold And I Burn, I Guess I'll Never Learn

by TheForgottenDreams



Series: I Said 'I Love You' [11]
Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Advice, Angst, Bad Communication, F/F, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Movie Night, Multi, Mutual Pining, Pining Enjolras, Pining Grantaire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 13:31:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7465263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheForgottenDreams/pseuds/TheForgottenDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enjolras frowned, pulling the brunet into his arms, their faces were so close, Grantaire could count all Enjolras’ freckles and eyelashes “Because you mean a lot to me R, like a crazy lot, like I think I might- I don’t want you to be sad because I think I might-“ </p>
<p>“Think you might?” Grantaire raised his eyebrows, ignoring the way his heart was imitating an over dramatic car chase in his chest. He focused on breathing and on Enjolras. On the uncharacteristic nervousness, the way he breathed deeper, the tremble to his hands, look in his eyes. </p>
<p>“Think I might care about you a lot.” Enjolras settled on, eyes closing temporarily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're Cold And I Burn, I Guess I'll Never Learn

“Hey babe, you come here often?” Grantaire asked, leaning against his doorframe in the most seductive pose he could think of. In front of him Éponine was rolling her eyes but Enjolras looked back in stoic blankness. Ouch.

“You’re ridiculous.” Éponine told him, but she smirked at him from under her bangs. Her heels made her almost the same height as him and she radiated her usual scary air, and then in complete opposite, Enjolras had his hair down, loose and covering part of his face, he looked as beautiful as any other time, but there was something different, something more vulnerable about him.

“I am wild.” Grantaire replied, sweeping out of the way, “Please enter my humble abode, I am honoured to have both Apollo and Artemis visit me tonight.” 

“Artemis, I’ll take it, she’s badass.” Éponine followed him into the apartment. Enjolras trailing behind her like he wanted to be anywhere else. Ironic since the last time he’d been there he’d been begging for Grantaire to let him stay in bed. 

“That she is, the others are in the lounge, Aphrodite looks particularly stunning tonight.” Grantaire smiled at Éponine. He may be dense but he knew there was something there, well, okay he was hoping really hard, but that was enough right?

“Fuck you, Dionysus.” She growled, but the way her lips quirked up made him think she wasn’t too mad.

“There are drinks in the kitchen.” Grantaire turned to the blond, “Enjolras may I have a word?”

“Sure.” Enjolras nodded and Éponine looked at them both for a long while, judging them, making it known she was onto them in some way. Once she deemed the situation awkward enough she stomped into the lounge to the sounds of their friends, heels clicking on the laminate as she went. 

“I missed you.” Grantaire sighed, moving forward to take Enjolras’ hand. The blond stepped back and it felt like several knives, an axe and maybe a wooden stake or five had been lodged in his heart.

“I missed you too, but we’re meant to be toning it down, R, you said-“ Enjolras sighed, eyes closing before he opened them, half-lidded, “If anyone is going to work it out, it’s our friends. We need to be extra careful.”

“I know, I know, I just missed you and we’ve never been so distant with each other. We’ve always flirted and been at ease with each other and now we’re not like that because we’re scared they’ll read into it, they’ll read into the silence more.”

“But what if we flirt and we go over the edge? What if it becomes so painfully obvious?” Enjolras asked, eyes filling with something Grantaire couldn’t place, he’d never seen Enjolras look the way he did then. Defenceless maybe mixed with fear and exhaustion – none of those three things ever applied to Enjolras. It was startling. 

“Could you- could you stay, tonight?” Grantaire asked, biting his bottom lip. He needed Enjolras to stay, he realised with a jolt, needed to be held, to be kissed, to be looked after. He didn’t know what was going on with them, since the Floréal scare they’d been spending less time together, toned down the flirting in their friendship and it had been hard. So hard. 

“Yeah.” Enjolras’ expression softened, “I can stay. I’ll always stay for you R.”

“Thank you, we should go through.” Grantaire told him, but he felt himself smile, Enjolras was staying. That’s all that mattered. 

 

-

 

“No, we’re not watching a Rom-Com.” Enjolras interjected, halting the debate Bahorel and Courfeyrac were having about what film to subject the group to. The two them turned their attention to the blond with raised eyebrows.

“Why?” Bahorel whined, forever a sucker for a cheesy romantic comedy.

“We’re just not.” Éponine answered from beside Enjolras, her face looking like an almost perfect Medusa without the power to turn them all to stone, in other words, she was mad. They were pushed into the corner of the long sofa, next to Joly, Bossuet and Musichetta. Courfeyrac, Combeferre and Jehan had taken the floor space in front, Bahorel and Feuilly were lounging on the bean bags by the TV, Grantaire sat with Cosette and Marius on the love seat. It was cosy.

“Why though? What’s wrong with them?” Grantaire asked, looking at Enjolras, trying to bait him back into their old ways. They would debate for hours, flirting and tackling important issues in a way that let them both shape their arguments and figure out the right answers. Since they’d toned it down they’d done nothing but snap at each other. 

“They are rarely humorous, most are misogynistic, they downplay these strong female leads and make them dependant on a man they don’t need.” Enjolras reeled off, monotone, making eye contact with Grantaire the whole time. “They set unrealistic expectations and erase any kind of sexuality that isn’t hetero and just teach monogamy with love triangles when the best answer is a polyamorous relationship. The leads are most often played by white actors and feature little diversity. Need I go on?” 

“Well then.” Grantaire muttered, there went that plan. Beside him Cosette squeezed his hand in support, bless her heart. He’d barely seen her, too busy sneaking around with Enjolras and when he wasn’t with the blond, he was alone trying to write songs. He needed to change that. 

“Harry Potter it is.” Bahorel said, getting up to put the DVD in. 

“We need to chat.” Cosette whispered. “You’re telling me what’s going on, okay?”

“Sure.” Grantaire murmured. 

“We’re getting, drinks anyone want one?” Cosette asked, puling Grantaire up after her.

The others reeled off what they wanted and Cosette nodded, dragging Grantaire with her to the kitchen.

 

-

 

“What the fuck has happened between you and Enjolras? Do I need to murder him? Because you know my dad, you know he’s an ex-con, you know I know things, terrible things.” Cosette whirled on him as soon the kitchen door closed behind him. Her hair flew around her, flashing gold in the light, it was oddly beautiful with the fire in her eyes and the floral frilliness of her dress. 

“I can’t tell you.” Grantaire shrugged. “He doesn’t want people to know and therein lies our problem. It’s fine, we’ll get through it, I think. I’m just sick of it, I guess.” 

“Because you love him?” She asked, eyes soft and voice gentler than before. He forgot her ability to change moods at the drop of a hat, it was quite amazing, she’d have been a great actress. 

“How did you know?” He retorted, knowing he couldn’t get out of it if he tried. She knew him, knew him too well for him to even try to lie and he didn’t really want to lie anymore, he was fed up with it and the secrecy and isolation it caused. He felt like he was burning in his need for Enjolras, but the blond skirted around him, pretended he didn’t exist and it hurt. So much. 

“I’m afraid you’re quite obvious, sweetie.” She sighed, pulling him into a hug, he inhaled her scent, lavender and sunshine and happiness, buried his face in the crook of her next as she squeezed him tightly. “You’re different with him. The way you look at him, the way you act, the way you talk to him is different from the way you interact with anyone else. You flirt, you tease him, you smile more, you’re freer and more light-hearted with him, you seem so comfortable and at ease with him. You’ve been happier too, writing more and I know it’s because of him, he’s your muse or catalyst – I can’t work out which.” 

“How did you get so good at reading me?”

“It’s not just you.” She replied, moving back, but keeping her arms around him, looking him in the eye instead. “I can read most of our friends.”

“Enjolras?” He raised his eyebrows.

“R,” She looked at him seriously, there was a wisdom to her he’d not noticed before, she was good with people, exceptionally in tune with emotions. He realised that is why she was such an amazing manager, she knew when the band needed work, when they needed breaks, if something was wrong and how to help. Like now. “Enjolras is the easiest to read out of all of them.”

“Teach me how?” He raised his eyebrows in hope, if he could just understand how Enjolras worked a little more, their problems could be evaded. 

“I can’t, I’m sorry, you’ll have to learn yourself.” She said a sadness to the curve of her mouth. 

“I’m fucked then.” He laughed bitterly.

“No, you’ll get there, believe in yourself,” She replied. “Whatever is going on with you two can be solved easily, just trust your instincts a bit more and for God’s sake, just fucking talk to him. I know you, you get so wrapped up in your head that you forget to communicate. And the sooner you do woman up and tell him what’s good, the easier this will all be cleaned up.”

“And the normal Cosette is back.” He smiled at her and she grinned back. “I think I prefer Cosette The Wise actually.”

“Screw you, I am wise all the time.” She tossed her hair over her shoulders and raised her head, making him laugh for real. She kissed his cheek and twirled over to the alcohol cupboard, he got glasses from another cupboard sliding them along the side for her to pour drinks into. 

“Sure.” He grinned.

“I am.” She stuck her tongue out at him, picking up several glasses, “Just remember what I said and actually do it R. You two have something I’ve only seen a few times, my dads for one, ‘Chetta, ‘Suet and Joly for another. If you just tell him what’s wrong or how you feel I’m sure you could work it out. You’d be amazed what can be solved through a conversation.”

And with that she left him to get the rest. 

 

-

 

“Byyyyeeeee Rrrrrrrrr, seeeeee you tomorrrrrrrrowwwwww for pppppppracticeeeeee.” Joly cheered as he was dragged down the hall by his significant others. Grantaire chuckled as he went and then closed the door as their chatter faded down the hall. 

“How much did he have to drink?” Enjolras asked, leaning against the doorframe to Grantaire’s living room like a clichéd bad boy, leg up, head back against the wood, arms crossed, smirked stretched across his face. 

“Too much.” Grantaire replied, pushing past him back into the living room, pillows and empty glasses strewn across the room. Now it was his turn to be cold and distant, in your perfect angelic face Enjolras. The music they’d put on played softly in the background, a lull after the cheerful noise of their friends. Grantaire started arranging pillows properly, back to Enjolras as he did so. It was the only thing he could do not to drag Enjolras to his room and have his wicked way with him.

“Do you need help cleaning up?” 

“That would be nice.” Grantaire answered, still not turning to face the blond. He’d been thinking about what Cosette said all night and his good mood had turned rapidly bad as Enjolras continued to skirt around him, not responding to his flirty comments or innuendos.

“What’s wrong R?” Enjolras spoke, he sounded like he hadn’t moved, he sounded heartbroken, lost, upset. None of those things should ever be felt by Enjolras, Enjolras was strong, independent and fiery, not this shell of himself. 

“Nothing.” 

“Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?” Grantaire turned around, eyes narrowed. 

“There’s something wrong and though I don’t what it is, I know you well enough to know there is something. You’re not happy. Please don’t lie to me.” Enjolras spoke with such sincerity, he looked wrecked, hair messy, eyes watery, posture crumpled. 

“I’m fine, Enjy, honestly.” Grantaire smiled, taking a step forward, holding his hand out for Enjolras, the blond took it immediately. 

And, sure, Cosette’s advice was gold, but it was also absolutely terrifying – he didn’t want to scare Enjolras off by using words like ‘love’, by confessing his feelings when Enjolras thought this was a casual no strings attached hook up. He couldn’t imagine the pain of not having Enjolras in his life, the blond and his little crew of support had brought so much laughter to Grantaire’s life and he couldn’t let them go, he loved them all like the family he’d never had. So, he concluded, it was better to have Enjolras like this than not at all.

So, yeah, he lied. 

What was one more lie to huge pile he’d told all his friends?

“You’ll tell me if you’re not?” Enjolras frowned, pulling the brunet into his arms, their faces were so close, Grantaire could count all Enjolras’ freckles and eyelashes “Because you mean a lot to me R, like a crazy lot, like I think I might- I don’t want you to be sad because I think I might-“ 

“Think you might?” Grantaire raised his eyebrows, ignoring the way his heart was imitating an over dramatic car chase in his chest. He focused on breathing and on Enjolras. On the uncharacteristic nervousness, the way he breathed deeper, the tremble to his hands, look in his eyes. 

“Think I might care about you a lot.” Enjolras settled on, eyes closing temporarily.

“I think I might care about you a lot too.” Grantaire smiled back. It wasn’t love, but it was close, it was enough, it was safe. “Now, we can tidy this room or we can leave it for tomorrow and go have amazing slightly drunken sex.”

“I vote the second.” Enjolras beamed at him.

“Let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> Not going to lie, I hear R saying 'let's go' as Hamilton does in 'Non-Stop', when Washington asks him to become the treasurer.
> 
> Inspired by 'Settle Down - The 1975', title from it. Every time I hear it it makes me think of E and R and I just get emotional, I think it sums up their relationship very well. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, it means a lot. You can find me on tumblr as beelzebertha.


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